Hi I'm Christian, I'm 20, and I'm from Boston, MA.
I've been called crazy on my good days, and you don't want to see me on my bad days. I'm a total nerd and I'm always willing to start talking to new people. I'm in no way shape or form an artist so forgive my lack of artsy-ness (if that's even a word) though I am a sucker for music and have been playing cello for a decade now =] I'm just posting my thoughts and such on here so don't mind me. If you like what I have to say, please follow me, if not, that's fine too =]
Lately I’ve been very nostagic in my musical tastes, and I decided that I needed to re-listen to American Idiot (the album of course) for the billionth time. But you know how different things at different times in your life have different meanings? Well I really, finally, grasped the whole story behind it, and made a connection. Its not so much a political “fuck you” to the bush administration, but a whole testament to growing up and maturing, and finding who we are.
I mean, even the song American Idiot kind of just sets the stage for the world this character is living in. Its a ballad about today and its issues yes, but it lays them out in a way to set the scene in the way that the prologue does with any good book. At least that’s how I like the see it.
Then we move into the introduction of the character, the “Jesus of Suburbia.” His song sets the stage for him, shows his life, how he’s fed up with the boredom and mediocrity of his little town, and how he wants to be free, and in doing so, he gets out and has the night of his life, and thinks everything good for a while. Until it dawns on him just how lonely life in the “Big City” is. Its a sad epiphany, realizing your alone.
Its at this low point that the boy recreates who he is, and takes on a new persona of “St. Jimmy” who lives for sex drugs and rock and roll. He doesn’t give 2 shits about who he used to be, because he’s living the high life. But the fact he sacrificed himself pains him, so he wishes he could numb all his emotions. And that is when a girl enters the picture.
She’s everything he’s ever wanted and more. She’s amazing, incredible, and she’s a crazy kick ass bitch just like his new persona. They’re fling for each other is intense and passionate. That is, until world comes crashing down around him, and he realizes that this has all been a fucking lie, and he can’t live like this. He reaches a low point in his life, knowing now you can’t just not be true to who you are. You can’t just change yourself, because in the end, its not true to the people around you, and you can only keep up an act for so long.
He returns home once again, and lives his life. He casts aside his former persona and has a good life, and everything works out for the best, and the world keeps going on. But he still reflects on what he’s learned, especially from that girl. He misses her, wishes things could have been different, but accepts the past is past and moves on.
I think everyone has something like this happen in their life, and I think that’s why so many people can connect to this. I know through my teenage years I’d always try and mask who I really was, and thought I could change who I was to be “cool.” I ended up sacrificing a lot of my values and morals because of this and, as such, I had a shitty few years. I even met a few girls who I thought were amazing (though all were incredibly bad for me). But in the end, I wasn’t being true to me. I tried to blame my unhappiness on other things, and I tried to fix things that weren’t even the fucking problem.
But it wasn’t me. It took me YEARS to realize that. I was trying to please others, to change who I was and act like someone who I wasn’t to fit in. And that was the worst thing I could have done.
I’m so glad I went through that though. I found out who I was, what I like, what my morals really were, what I want in friends, and what I want in a relationship. I now have strength I never knew and, you know what, I appreciate it that much more because I never had it. Before I don’t think I could ever hurt someone intentionally, even if they wronged me or a friend. But now I know I can stand up for what I believe in, and if it comes to it, I can punch some asshole in the face if they deserve it. I haven’t had to yet, and lets hope I don’t, but if I need to, I will. I love my family more then ever, and I know who my real friends are and who are fake. I grew from this.
I’m so glad I listened to it again, such a good little epiphany to raise my spirits today =]
So we got to take a tour of the Biodiesel lab at my college and I nerded everywhere. Its the coolest thing ever. And the teacher was stressing that the project needed help from students for a few main projects, as well as the up-scaling that may occur next year and I’m ready to EXPLODE. I volunteered on the spot and now I’m just waiting for an email from the project adviser but my Chem Professor said I’d get to help no problem and I’m ready to lose it. ITS THE COOLEST THING EVER AND I GET TO DO ACTUAL SCIENCE!!!! I’M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.