Hi I'm Christian. I'm a 21 year old Mechanical Engineering Major at Wentworth Institute of Technology.
These are the things I post.
How many of us have gone on Tumblr and had their dash blown up with “OH WOE IS ME” statues? I mean, I know on on a regular basis and see them. Now there are a couple thing that hit me about them when I see them for a while.
The first is that I sympathize with them. I mean, I’ve been in that boat. I’ve been upset. I’ve been lonely, but haven’t we all? That’s not the thing that bothers me though. Most of us, when we’re upset like that, go to a friend and talk to them, or we go to someone, and we vent, or if its not that big a thing we realize its just a fleeting thought and it’ll get better. Yes I know that there are people in the world that actually have depression, or actually don’t have friends, but I’m not talking about them, and i’ll get to them later. I used to be one of the worst offenders when I was younger, but the thing was, there was nothing really wrong when I posted them half the time. I was just lonely, and never realized the friends I had around me the whole time.
But the next thing that hits me is I get really bothered. Here’s something that I’ve said to friends before. If you go on any website and see people, you’ll see any number of different things, but if you look at the different pages, odds are you’ll never be able to pick out the people who have been through the most hardships in their life. And its not because there are so many people faking their problems or exacerbating real but small ones they have. Its because they don’t show it. They went through hell, but learned to accept it and move on. They didn’t let it control them, they didn’t let it get to them like that, they moved on to survive. And most of these people are happy now. The scars are there, but scars don’t always hurt. They are reminders of the past, but we don’t have to make them consume our present and destroy our future.
I think that’s the biggest reason I get upset. Its not because I’ve been through shit and had to get over it, its not anything like that. Its that there are people on here that seriously don’t realize how lucky they have it. That are unable to see the friends they have, and don’t realize it. That are unable to see all the great people that are around them. Or worse, they don’t let themselves see them. Its so just… its sad.
If you do actually mean it though, and do need someone, know I’m always around to talk. We’ve all been through rough patches, but I always have an ear and a shoulder if someone needs it.
I know that people have been finding their own faults but have any of you ever looked at your dashboards and been fed up with all the people posting things about how they are ugly, or that they aren’t perfect and that they’re sorry or whatever it may be? And do you know what the worst part of it is? The people are posting those things because they genuinely feel that way about themselves. Its not even that it makes me annoyed as it makes me frustrated and sad. Most people that are posting these things are beautiful people, both inside and out, that by some mental gymnastic have warped their perception of themselves into something so sad and pitiful. It just makes me so sad inside.
I don’t know when we all decided that the only way we would be attractive to another person is by being perfect, because honestly, do you ever look for perfection in another human being, unless you are horribly superficial or some stuck up douche who thinks himself better than thou? No, none of us do. And honestly its those douches that are the fucked up ones for thinking that. But the sad part is we’re letting that mentality get to us.
I’ve used this analogy before with my friends. Look out at the night sky on a clear night if you ever get a chance. What do you see? A whole lot of stars and the moon usually, right? Aiming to be a star is like aiming to be perfect to everyone else’s eye. But you know what that does? That takes us away from earth, from the other things we hold dear, making us unobtainable, and we become just another infinitesimal speck of light, like the billions of others. Most of all, it takes us away from ourselves.
But aiming to be yourself is completely different. Its like aiming to be the moon. Its pitted with dark spots, craters, and any number of “flaws,” but God damn it its one of the most beautiful things in the sky. Its something that we don’t normally think. Its not about being completely different from everyone else, or being perfect, on the contrary, its about being who you REALLY TRULY ARE, with qualities both similar and different from other people. Its about not lying to yourself. We can be short, tall, fat, skinny, smart, dumb, strong, weak, WHATEVER. Accept your weaknesses, but also accept your strengths, and by that I mean TRULY ACCEPT THEM. What matters is you’re the perfect YOU. Not the perfect someone else, or worst of all, just perfect. Be perfectly imperfect, because that’s what will most make you and other people happy some day.
I don’t want to find the perfect girl someday per say, because I know that its something that 1. I’ll never find and 2. I won’t be happy with. Perfection gets boring. A white piece of paper is perfect, but where is the entertainment in that. I want someone who is themselves. Someone who connects with me and I am attracted to, whether they be short, tall, big, small, smarter than me or dumb as a stump. I want someone who, at the end of the day, I know they care about me and I care about them. I want someone who is the perfect themself for the perfect myself.
And you know what, I don’t think I’m alone in this thinking. Guys, think to what you want in a partner, whether it be a guy, girl, or whatever in between. Now do you think that someone else wants any different? Or worse, do you think someone you’d be truly happy with would think any differently? If someone loves you, they love you for you, whatever kind of a person you are. Please, don’t look badly upon yourself, because you’re awesome to many people out there, whether you believe it or not, just the way you are. Saying that you’re ugly or that you’re awful or that you’re just not a good person is just like throwing it back in their face. Plenty of people do and will think you’re amazing, especially people you haven’t met yet.
I know this was long and you probably won’t read it, but I felt it needed to be said. Thank you, and if anyone ever wants to talk, my ask box is always open.
I’m tired of every day my dash or wall in Facebook lighting up with people saying “boys are so awful” and “girls are so retarded and mean” or some general comment like that about a gender. Let me get this straight. Because either one or a small group of people out of a whole gender decided they were going to hurt your feelings or ego in some way, the entirety of the group is awful? That’s like saying all dogs are absolutely violent beasts because one bit you today, or saying that all parents are awful because they grounded you at some point.
Whether you deserved whatever the person or group did to you or not, I really don’t know, but what I do know, is I’m tired of, as a person, being lumped in with some asshole that upset you or broke up with you or did something awful. Just because I have a penis does not make me a bad person, just like just because someone has a vagina or whatever else in between. There are plenty of us out there that are good people, not perfect, mind you, but good. But shit.
I don’t know. I just hate the fact that I’m labeled as bad just because somebody wronged somebody else. I’m my own person. Yes, I’m a guy. But that doesn’t mean I’m some mindless, sex craved lunatic out there only to fuck and leave girls. It doesn’t mean that I’m some asshole cheater. Hell I’ve been cheated on multiple times, and I’ve never cheated on a girl. I am my own person, and I’m not going to be grouped in with some asshole that hurt you.
Please, just think before you post about these things. Thank you.